I was taught that before anything else I need to believe that I can and I will. I have to see myself as a winner, and I will win.
I have used these lessons in every situation that I have encountered in my life. Although… I cannot say I have mastered it, but I have gotten better. Some days are better than others. There are days where I wake up and I just want to give up, but then I remember why I started and get energized again. In this blog post you will learn how your mind has been ruining your day.
A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy – Mind and Behavior
According to Robert Merton, a sociologist, self-fulfilling prophecy is a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the originally false conception come true. In simple terms, this means that your beliefs causes the consequences they expected or feared.
We unconsciously work to affirm our belief by ignoring the positive and behaving in ways that are unlikely to contribute to an enjoyable day. You might have the best job, but your attitude towards certain people at the office can ruin a good day or make you hate the job that you do.
For example, school teachers can make or break a learner’s future. When a learner is always told that they are useless and that they are going to fail, the learner would obviously do badly in that particular subject because already they have bad experiences with the teacher.
You Are What You Believe You Are
I am currently reading, Endings & Beginings by Redi Tlhabi, my heart was so heavy when I read about this boy who was ill-treated just because he is a “result” of rape. So he grew to live up to the opinions of people in his community who called him bad luck.
So whatever bad things they said to him, he believed it and that’s how his innocence was stolen. It makes me wonder just how many children out there are being failed by teachers, parents or community members. I had a Mathematics teacher who had zero faith in us, by us, I mean his students, he entered our class one day and yelled: “you are going to fail hopelessly.” those words stung.
When a teacher says that to his learners automatically learners start feeling unsure about themselves and start doing poorly because whether they try or not, the teacher has already told them their fate. Redi’s book has touched me in places I never thought I had and made me realize how important words are and how they can shape our own thoughts. When we believe something about ourselves, we are more likely to act in ways that correspond to our beliefs, that will in turn reinforce our beliefs and encourage the same behavior.
The Law of Attraction
The law of attraction is a typical example of self-fulfilling prophecy. It is the name given to the belief that “like attracts like” and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results. There are a lot of examples of self-fulfilling prophecy in the areas of our lives. According to an article I have read by Courtney Ackerman ((2018), self-fulfilling prophecy can lead to both bad and good outcomes of relationships.
She gives two examples; she states that if a woman starts dating someone under the assumption that they are really not “relationship”or “marriage”material then she will not likely take the relationship seriously, her lack of investment thereof may lead to the the partner having doubts about her and deciding to break up with her. But you see, it is the thoughts in her mind all along that contributed to the break-up.
Self-fulfilling prophecy does not only lead to bad outcomes, Ackerman (2018) further stated that if a man starts dating someone whom he he feels strongly connected to, just by believing that this person is “the one” may lead to a promising future for the relationship. Since he expects the relationship to last, he will treat his partner with love and invest his energy into the relationship.
Whether you think you can, or you think
you can’t, you are right.
– Henry Ford
A Simple Story
Let me tell you a story. In the year 2003, I lost my mother. She was sick for a very long time and when she passed away, as young as I was, the one part of me was glad that she will not feel pain anymore.
I knew for sure that she would be well. The other part felt that she gave up too soon. My mom passed away when she was very young. She was 27 years old. I’m thinking that at that age, she had dreams and goals she wanted to achieve. A week before she passed on, she saw her own death – or so they say.
It was said that she told my grandmother that when she gets better, she wanted to wear her wedding gown again as she didn’t quiet enjoy her wedding day because of her ill-health (she got married in December, 2002).
According to some cultures, when someone who is sick talks about getting better they actually mean that they want to die – it is believed that when you die you stop feeling pain. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if she never gave up on life. If she chose life instead. To just say “I have two beautiful daughters and I want to be there for them”, to just choose to be here with us but then…
I guess death will remain a mystery!
We all have our bad days and this all started in the mind. It started with “I can’t do this”, “this is such a crappy day”, “I am not thin enough”, ” Why am I not rich like so and so”, “Why is this happening to me and not so and so”, “I am doing everything right but I don’t see the results…”
If we shy away from these thoughts and be a little kinder to ourselves, we could be having “great days” 365 days of the year. We need to think healthy thoughts for our bodies to be able to function properly. Every little thing or big thing that we own or have today, started as something on our wish-list.
When you are feeling low always remember that you have come a long way. Hype yourself up and give yourself the love you so freely give to others. You are worthy and you are doing great. Feed your mind with healthy thoughts because the universe is listening. Take care of your thoughts.